


Chapter XIII: The Court Returns A Verdict

by The Spike (spike21)



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-18
Updated: 2010-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-13 18:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spike21/pseuds/The%20Spike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>`Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; `but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!'  After Alice, Wonderland goes on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapter XIII: The Court Returns A Verdict

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LostWendy1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostWendy1/gifts).



The giant girl disappeared with a quiet _POP_ and all the guards who had leapt up to seize her suddenly found themselves fluttering and tumbling through the empty space she left behind. There were a few shrieks of panic from some of the more sensitive suits, but they all bent their backs and most floated to the ground unharmed. After that, there was a great deal of shuffling and sorting to do before everyone was back in its place and even then Bill the Lizard had to be pulled out from under the jury box that had landed on top of him when all the jurors scattered in the panic.

Eventually everyone got themselves settled, except for Bill who had lost a part of his tail under the jury box and kept looking around for it suddenly, as if it might be hiding behind a bush waiting to jump out at him. In the descending quiet, the King turned to the Queen.

"A pack of cards?" he muttered, softly. "Whatever did she mean by that?" The Queen did not answer right away. Her face was very red and her mouth was set in a tight little line.

"Perhaps," said the White Rabbit, placatingly. "Perhaps it was a meant as a compliment." The Queen of Hearts turned to him and glared.

"In what way?" she asked, coldly. "Exactly." The White Rabbit recoiled from her tone and trembled so hard his voice shook.

"In the way…" he stammered. "In the way of…" He looked around desperately until his gaze landed upon the Dormouse. "In the way of MICE!" he shouted in relief. At the sound, the Dormouse opened one eye.

"Mice are very nice," the Dormouse said, sleepily.

"I've always thought so," said a voice from just behind the King's shoulder. The King looked round but could see nothing but a set of whiskers hovering over the back of his throne.

"I don't think that's proper at all," the King said in a very low voice. He looked to the court for support for this idea but everyone's attention was fixed upon the Queen, whose face had become even redder and whose mouth had become an even smaller, tighter line.

"That creature," she said, staring at the spot where Alice had disappeared.

"I think it's a cat," the King whispered, glancing dubiously at the whiskers. "Although it's hard to be sure in its current condition."

"It was NOT a cat," said the Queen. "Nor a mouse."

"What then?" the King asked, trying to remember what other animals had whiskers and nothing else.

"Pig!" volunteered the Cook.

"Porpoise!" shouted the Gryphon.

"Serpent!" shrieked a Pigeon from the back of the jury box.

"I don't believe serpents have whiskers, my dear," said the King.

"Sometimes they do," said the Pigeon. "They're all over disguises."

"Disguises are against the rules," said the Queen. "I'm sure THAT is in the book." .

"Oh yes," the King said, scribbling madly in his notebook. "Rule 77: All persons in disguises must, er… Must what, my dear?"

"Must leave the court IMMEDIATELY," said the Queen.

"Just as she did," said the King, slamming the notebook shut. "Shall we have a verdict then? I'm certain it must be almost tea time."

At this the White Rabbit, who had been trying to mend his trumpet by poking at it with the dull end of his pencil, dropped both and picked up his scroll instead. He cleared his throat and then cleared it again, when it became clear that the jurors were still trying to sort out whose slate belonged to whom and who had whom's pencil.

"Will the jury please--" he began, but a commotion had broken out by the evidence table where the March Hare was now trying to roll the Dormouse up into a sort of ball and the Knave of Hearts and several of the Royal Guards were offering advice and encouragement.

"If you don't MIND…" the Rabbit said, pointedly.

"HE doesn't," said the March Hare, giving the Dormouse a poke with a large furry toe.

"Well, must you do it now?" the King asked.

"Now or never," said the Hare. "It'll take three days to get him home in time as it is."

The White Rabbit leaned close to the King's ear and whispered loudly:

"Your Majesty _did_ say it was nearly tea time."

"NO TEA BEFORE THE VERDICT!" the Queen roared. She looked as though she would very much like to say "Off with Someone's head!" at that moment and the court fell very quiet.

At a nudge from one of the guards, the March Hare left off his pushing and poking and sat down on the ground beside the Dormouse, who promptly unrolled and started snoring gently.

"Right, then," said the White Rabbit. "The Verdict." He turned to the King. "For which case first, the Disguised Serpent, or the Thief?"

"Serpent!" shouted most of the jurors, including the Pigeon, the Knave and the Queen of Hearts herself. Only the White Rabbit and Bill the Lizard shouted "Thief!" and both got very sharp looks from the Queen.

"Serpent, then," said the White Rabbit, a little huffily.

"Read the charges," said the King. The White Rabbit turned his scroll around and read:

"The Serpent is a slippery beast  
its scales are slick as ice  
And everywhere the Serpent goes  
You'd better hide the mice.

It follows them through thick and thin  
Which makes their whiskers tickle.  
And lingers 'round the brining bin  
To catch them in a pickle

The Cat she turned the rodents out  
Although they begged her stop  
But Pussy only pranced about  
And ordered them to hop.

Why do the Serpent and the Cat  
Torment these creatures so?  
Why, Mice have threatened Tit for Tat  
and Vengeance, as you know."

The Rabbit finished his recitation and sat down abruptly on the ground beside the Dormouse, fanning himself with the scroll.

" _What_ do I know?" The Gryphon whispered to the Mad Hatter who had wandered up beside him, his hat now decorated with garlands of yellow flowers.

"About what?" the Hatter asked.

"This business with the Serpent and the Mice and the Little Girl," The Gryphon answered.

"I can't remember what she called herself." said the Hatter, glumly taking a sip from his empty, broken cup.

"Alice, I think," said the March Hare, He turned to the White Rabbit. "Did you write it down?" The White Rabbit waved his scroll around a bit and coughed, discreetly.

"Jury!" The Queen shouted, making them all jump. "What is your verdict?"

"Guilty!" the Jury shouted back as one.

"Excellent," said the King. "Will you pronounce the sentence, dear?"

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!" shouted the Queen. She smiled and sat down with a satisfied sigh. Her cheeks were only pink instead of red and she looked much younger now that her face was not drawn into angry lines.

"And now for the Thief," the King said, motioning for the White Rabbit to get up. He pushed himself to his feet, using the Dormouse for leverage. He turned the scroll over again, scowled at it for a moment and then looked up at the guards.

"Bring the prisoner forward." he said.

"He can't go no farther forward," said the guard on the left. "Or he'll be in her Majesty's lap."

"That won't do," said the King. But the Queen only sat back in her throne and yawned.

"Let him go," she said. "If it doesn't rain, we'll try him again tomorrow. " and waving them all away she curled up like a rather regal cat and began to snore.

The guards looked to the sleeping Queen and then back to their prisoner.

"You heard her Majesty," said the Knave.

"We did," said the guard on the right.

"As did we," said the guard on the left. Then they both shrugged and unlocked the Knave's chains.

"Thank you," said the Knave of Hearts. "And now I must run." He turned on his heel and did just that. The members of the court watched him run until he disappeared over the horizon.

"Ah, well," said the King, breaking the awkward silence. "Tea time it is." He looked around for what to serve and his eye lit upon the dish atop the evidence table.

"Oh good!" he said, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Tarts for everyone!"

***

And far away in the woods, a grin with whiskers but without any cat at all nudged a sleepy caterpillar and said:

"It's time for you to change, my dear."

"What do YOU know?" said the Caterpillar with some annoyance, in part because its nap had been disturbed and partly because it had been feeling the need for that very thing since the little girl with the terrible temper had come by.

"Well," said the Cheshire Cat, appearing in full beside the mushroom. "I either know everything. Which is to say, nothing of much consequence. Or I know nothing at all, which is to say everything there is."

The End


End file.
